Tissy Mariam Thomas
Translation: Anjana and Shilpa Parthan
In the second piece in Ala’s ‘Speaking Otherwise’ translation series, we translate a piece from the historic Sanghaditha feminist magazine where a psychology expert asks: How does our society and its norms around masculinity produce perpetrators of sexual violence?
Ala’s new article series, ‘Speaking Otherwise’, will feature translations from the iconic magazines and newsletters produced by Kerala’s movement spaces that have lasting resonance in the present day. Through the series, we hope to ignite renewed interest in these archives and take them to a broader readership.
We kick off the series with translations from Sanghaditha [Woman United] Magazine. Sanghaditha is a publication of Anweshi, an early women’s organization in Kerala active since 1993, led by activist and organizer K. Ajitha. Aiming to ‘[provide] an arena where women have access to publishing and can pen their opinions that would help mould shared and visible spaces for women’, Sanghaditha’s first issue was released in 2010. The archive of Sanghaditha, its past conversations, interventions, and solidarities can be accessed by visiting their website.
The second essay we have chosen to translate is from Sanghaditha’s October 2022 issue, ‘ലൈംഗികാതിക്രമങ്ങളിലെ അപരാധിയും ആണത്തബോധ നിർമ്മിതിയും: ഒരാമുഖം’, by Tissy Thomas. The author, a faculty member of psychology, critically examines how patriarchy and its socialization norms shape masculine identity in ways that enable and perpetuate sexual violence. Redirecting our gaze from the offender as an individual to the ‘perpetrator’ as a socially produced identity, Thomas asserts that understanding how perpetrators are shaped by society is essential for developing alternate models to prevent gendered violence. Today, as a new wave of men’s rights activism is framing and celebrating perpetrators of sexual violence as the ‘real victims’, there is less space than ever to understand how the identities of perpetrators are shaped by patriarchy as well. This piece, therefore, remains a much-needed intervention even today.
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On the national highway, I once again saw those boys recklessly performing wheelies at high speeds. They did not appear to be more than twenty years old. As if in a movie, they rapidly wove through heavy vehicles and speeding cars. Such spectacles are commonplace. In these acts of dodging the eye of authorities, we can also see the celebration of masculine stereotypes such as daring, nonchalance, the proclamation of freedom, and fearlessness.
***
I once saw a group of young boys on cycles, presumably in lower- or upper-primary school, speeding dangerously along broken village roads marked by steep ascents and descents. On weekends, they would often race through these steep roads, raucously proclaiming their courage and self-pride. The adults watching them by the roadside would only tut, ‘these boys!’ in playful reproach.
***
A security guard found two boys in school uniforms in the vicinity of an ancient hilltop temple and informed the principal. The boys had drugs and cigarettes in their possession. Both were high school students. Watching the boys stand before the guard, defiantly nonchalant, the tourists around remarked, ‘oh, boys and their arrogance!’
***
He opened up by saying that all his lovers have heartlessly abandoned him. Fearing romantic or marital commitments that extended beyond friendships and evading the responsibilities that they entailed, he never truly expressed his emotions to any woman. He was also held back by the persistent anxiety that anyone who became close to him would ultimately leave. His warped understanding of what it meant to be a man led him to depression and suicidal thoughts.
***
All of the above are familiar everyday experiences that we often ignore. The construction of masculine selfhood is deeply influenced by patriarchal values. This shapes a particularly dangerous kind of masculinity that enables men to live completely on their own terms, to ignore all obstacles in their pursuit of domination, to obey no authority but themselves, to challenge the law, and even to justify violence. Examining the visible yet deeply embedded roots of this kind of masculinity, which can lead to severe and far-reaching crises, can help us better understand the complex history of sexual violence.
How Perpetrators’ Psyches are Shaped
(In cases of sexual violence, instead of using the commonly employed word ‘offender/criminal’, this article throughout uses the word ‘perpetrator’. This is done in order to draw attention to the invisibilized causes of the perpetrated violence rather than the individual alone.)
Across the world, debates and reflections regarding the causes and possible remedies for the unending saga of violence against sexual minorities, women, and children have become mere repetitive rituals. It is a historical fact that gender-based divisions pose a major obstacle to the existence of peaceful and harmonious human relationships. Since such divisions adversely affect the development of individuals, it is important for society to identify and examine the causes of sexual violence rooted in gendered hierarchies. Foregrounding this social condition as its central concern, this article begins a discussion on the structural processes that produce not just survivors but perpetrators of violence as well.
According to the National Crime Records Bureau (2020) data, offences against women are classified into categories such as rape, attempt to rape and insult to modesty. It is important to approach these statistics more broadly to comprehend the formation and development of such offences, crimes, and violence. A significant percentage of perpetrators are men with whom we interact in our everyday lives and are familiar to us in social circles—friends, lovers, husbands, fathers, uncles, and neighbours. Though this might be common knowledge, these facts raise many significant questions.
Firstly, any man-woman relationship could become violent at any point in time. The inequality and injustice embedded in gender equations point out that all relations bear the potential for violence, and precautions must always be taken. Families and other social institutions must be equipped to support individuals in understanding the trajectories of their relationships and in taking necessary precautions. Yet, how is it that women are so frequently the targets of such sudden and unexpected instances of violence? In addition to cis women, members of sexual minorities and transgender people also experience serious types of violence, and it is necessary to see the ongoing suicide and murder cases among them as produced by social neglect and discrimination.
Secondly, how do family structures, educational institutions, religion, caste, linguistic hierarchies, the media, and legal frameworks define and shape human relationships writ large, apart from just gender differences? Why is it so hard to dismantle antiquated models and encourage thoughtful reinterpretations to come to the mainstream?
Thirdly, the significant percentage of family members who commit offences illustrates the lack of gender justice in domestic spaces. Why has it been so hard to strengthen social interventions against domestic violence? Why do unjust practices in domestic spaces persist as islands outside the purview of law and governance?
These questions all point towards the construction of gendered subjectivities, the shortcomings of existing approaches for dealing with gender injustice, and the fundamental forms of resistance needed to address persisting sexual inequalities.
The Men Who Become Perpetrators
It is a fact that men outnumber women when it comes to perpetrating sexual violence. This demonstrates the extent to which men’s inner worlds assimilate values based on domination and masculinity.
It is not possible to attribute the observed differences in men’s and women’s personalities solely to habit or biology; rather, a variety of cultural factors must be considered. A man becomes an offender, aggressor, or criminal through a gradual process of psychological development. A variety of perspectives, including biological and evolutionary approaches, theories of personality development, behavioural studies, socialisation frameworks, cognitive analyses, and feminist theoretical interventions, must be considered in order to understand this process.
Boys are given preferential treatment from birth and throughout the various stages of life, gradually shaping an expanded terrain of choice and freedom. They are taught to assert and exert authority, control, and power in areas such as friendship, love, marriage, work, and social interactions. In this logic of enjoyment and entitlement, nature, animals, women, sexual minorities, and even children become objects of possession in addition to property and material possessions. This perception of freedom is extended and legitimised by patriarchal structures, and through the threat of being labelled as ‘henpecked’, these structures force men to exercise control over everything around them. In turn, these same values determine the foundations of the state, law and order, art, education, and the public sphere. If boys are to decide to do things differently and shape an identity on their own terms, they must be trained from an early age to think critically and ethically. We must rewrite distorted or harmful cognitive patterns by providing the right kind of awareness.
There is also the argument that unhealthy or adverse experiences in childhood may later manifest as revengeful and violent behaviours. Therefore, providing the tools for self-regulation, emotional awareness, and the capacity to manage impulses is crucial. Given that sexual violence is evolved through multiple intersecting factors, it cannot be explained through any single theoretical aspect. What most theoretical approaches ultimately conclude is the need to cultivate self-discipline, awaken critical consciousness, and guide individuals toward self-awareness.
Perpetrators and Survivors
The same learning processes that train girls to become victims or survivors also prepare boys to become perpetrators and to occupy positions of authority within human relationships. In the process of shaping women to be submissive, deferential to all older men in their lives, and confined to domestic roles from birth, we tend to neglect that the aforementioned tendencies are also being shaped. In our domestic spaces, there is little thought or handwringing about how a boy should be raised. There exists an unwritten rule that assumes he may behave however he wishes, and that other family members will adjust accordingly. His aggression, rage, and resistance are often normalised under the guise that ‘boys are meant to be like that’. By the time he enters his teenage years, toxic ideas of manhood have already shaped an uncompromising masculine self.
Boys are taught to dismiss all ideas relating to women’s freedom and spaces as ‘feminichi’ [a derogatory term for feminist] and are taught that becoming ‘respectable’ entails developing the capacity to teach women—the ‘natural adversaries’ of men—their proper place. These lessons in masculinity also mandate that all their lives, men must rely on women for tasks like cooking for themselves, cleaning their clothes, taking care of their children, and running a household. Boys will have no other role models to do or believe otherwise, when fathers, uncles, older brothers, neighbours, movie heroes, and male models in commercials routinely shun household chores.
For men who still enjoy the luxury and comfort of inherited privileges, there is seldom any need for introspection or doing things otherwise. Sons are often led down predetermined paths by their parents without encouraging critical reflection. These masculine standards and prejudices eventually make them incapable of handling mental pressures in a healthy way. What the data on the abuse of alcohol and drugs ultimately reveals is that men need help.
When a young man, unable to accept romantic rejection, resorts to brutally killing his partner, the culpability rests not just on him, but the gendered scripts that shaped him. All the investigations and media narratives around such cases that refuse to enquire into the forces producing the perpetrator also become complicit in reproducing toxic masculinity. Facing challenges like unemployment, financial crises, and relationship breakdowns alone without seeking support can fracture not only the individual but also their familial, social, and professional relationships. The goal here is not to stand with patriarchal arguments and justify violent men, nor to defend their crimes. Rather, we need to critically foreground and understand how gender as a system shapes masculine identity.
The Role of Society in the Construction of Masculinity
Although discussions on the psychological construction of masculinity continue to happen in Western academic fields, these perspectives have not been meaningfully incorporated into discussions on gender inequality in Kerala. In fact, almost all gender-related programs focus primarily on women, aiming for their participation and empowerment. However, many Pride-related events held at colleges in Kerala last June are an exception.
Men’s rights movements that began in Western countries in the 1960s and 1970s made the case that sexism as a cultural issue impacts both men and women, and that women also enjoy certain privileges within patriarchy. They were also movements for liberation. In India, men’s rights movements started to pick up steam in the 1990s and 2000s, focusing mostly on allegations of legal discrimination against men on issues including child custody, divorce, and dowry laws.
That the welfare of transgender people and sexual minorities has also become a major topic has been a noteworthy and admirable development in the contemporary gender discourse. Their increasing prominence in various fields is a significant advancement. At the same time, we need to have intentional discussions about toxic masculinity, too. By not celebrating or strengthening such masculinities, we can stop the creation of such role models. At the same time, we must also develop healthier models of masculinity. This must begin within families and educational institutions. We can only establish stronger safeguards against sexual abuse by supporting people in moving past rigid gender binaries and towards relationships based on a shared humanity. Strong interventions should be used to make sure that both men’s and women’s socialization processes are nondiscriminatory and intentional. Men are frequently encouraged by patriarchal values to distance themselves from issues that impact women or other gender identities or treat them as irrelevant. Intentional training on empathy and mutuality is necessary to shift away from such toxic masculinity and to view humans as interdependent beings.
(This essay may be misinterpreted as supporting the masculine values or male perpetrators behind sexual violence. On the contrary, this essay aims to comprehend how institutions and social structures shape masculinity and to highlight the necessity of corrective measures within that framework. The author does not endorse any other misreading of this argument.)
About the Author: Dr Tissy Mariam Thomas is an Assistant Professor at the Department of Psychology, University of Kerala. She has a PhD from the University of Calicut. Her research interests include gender studies, social and cultural psychology, and alternative healing practices and mental health. Dr. Tissy has authored and edited many books, the latest of which include Lingapadavi: Covid kaala chinthakalum kurippukalum (2021), and Malayaliyude Manolokam (2023), both published by D C Books. She also contributes regularly to periodicals and academic journals.
Editors’ note: Versions of the original Malayalam piece have also been published in Vaijnanikam magazine, issue 3, 2023, and in the book Malayaliyude Manolokam (2023, D C Books).
Artist featured: Madathil Vasudevan (1928-2014)
